Dear
world,
I am a
man. A privileged man as the society labels who has to ask his girl even before
switching to the next channel. Here I welcome you all to my puny world. I can never open up and
can never tell you what I feel as I fear I will be laughed at. I hate Amitabh
Bacchan as my entire life was spent on proving that mardko dard nahi hota is
true. My tear glands are expected to be dysfunctional and I have to bottle up
my pain and if I accidentally do cry there is a high chance that I will be
termed a wimp.
I don’t want people to
leave me like my ex did just because I was not good enough. Since childhood I
had been the man who women regard their dream boys to be like; who is loyal and
who doesn’t disrespect them, yet I always got friend zoned because whatever
philosophies women blurt out at the end she needs that filthy rich brat. Isn’t
it funny? People said that it was her choice and she had the right to marry the
right guy. Would the reactions be same had I dumped her saying that she wasn’t good
enough or hot enough? We are looked at
purely by how much money we make. I don’t have the liberty to quit my 8-4 job
and to chase my dreams because that would mean there would always be a risk
that I might fail; fail to pay for dates, fail to fill my ever thirsty bike
with petrol. If I leave my job I would be a NIKAMMA but if my girl would leave
her job and stay home with my family people would term her selfless. Why is marrying a rich
guy no big deal but marrying a wealthy chic and expecting life to be better a
sin? If men have always settled with less richer women why is it so tough for
women to do so, now that they are so much into equality? Women are expected to be insecure and their
insecurity is almost celebrated. Then why are we crucified and termed a looser
if we are insecure?
Oh yes she also complained that I didn’t own a good physique. Why
do women equate a man's body
size with masculinity and status? It sucks when I have to fulfill a freaking
criteria for a woman to even give me some time of her day .I hated it when my
ex-girlfriend never introduced me to her friends circle because somewhere
inside I knew she was embarrassed. Ohh!
There were some sexy ones too. If she would ask me it would be an
expectation but if I did similar it would be body shaming. Every time I
scrolled through her search button she would call that as intruding her privacy
and trust me majority of her searches’ would be boys. If I talked to other girl
it would be flirting if she did so it would be just a polite gesture. It was
her choice to interact with anyone at any time, with how many, for how long she
felt like but me doing so would be seeing that girl in my block list the very
other day. There would always be a heated argument if I asked her to do
the same, always.
I would never complain if
I had to ride my bike every time we went for dates but if I had to give my bike
for servicing and ask her to ride her scooter for a day she would make sure to
repeat it every day till I got it for servicing next month. Every time I give my bike for service and I
have to travel through Nepal Yatayat I completely freak out. Not because of its
super-fast speed, if you see me riding, I would bring the fastest rider to
shame but I have to look around throughout the journey so that I don’t
mistakenly touch any girl and I wouldn’t be the lusty guy.
She was already a mess
and to kill me more the society popped up. Every time I carried her shopping
bags aunties would claim that I had already become a “joitingre” before
marriage and every time I made her carry her bags herself, the young girls
around would call me rude. Ahh! The slim
glistening legs of those girls. Why is it
that every time a woman gets slapped or hit or raped there are thousands of
organizations to fight for her but none for me? If I don’t retaliate I get
called a COWARD if I do I am an oppressor. At times I and my brothers
have to think twice before doing anything because we might be accused of being
"sexist pigs" or "tools of the patriarchy."
After pleasing the girl
of my life another bossy woman of my life my “mom” would be waiting for me
fuming with anger. Women who say that their moms don’t allow them to come home
late should have met mine. I am no different. After 7 my phone rings
incessantly. My mom would be presuming that I was in drugs, while my ex-girlfriend
would think I was screwing other women when I would be slogging in office just
to find that one fault in coding. How could I forget my boss who never leaves a
chance to make me feel that I am one big sucker!
Yes we are no more
together now. But every time I imagine her with her NRN husband I go through
and excruciating pain and I mentally wish that she would miss me and find me
better in bed. I know I have been nagging throughout well I don’t know where I
could vent my frustration.
Whatever
it is I have moved on if
it wasn’t her well there are plenty of women out there. Now I have started developing feelings for another
girl. We go to dates or at least I feel so.
When I pay for her, pull a chair for her and try to protect her from the world
I don’t doubt on her strength but I want my gestures to prove my love for her
because I do. She earns more than me and I have no problem with that. My woman’s success would never intimidate me because
my love for her is bigger than my ego. I will have to be Bill Gates for not
anyone to be richer and well technically I am not him. So it’s okay.
She can easily apply cake
of makeup, wear push up bras and buttock enhancing garments, choose dresses
from wide range of varieties, conceal her belly fat with belts, switch to a
high heels and she looks amazing. What about me? Oh I can wear clean dresses
and maybe a clean shave. Would that side plate make me look better? Why can’t
women approach men if they find us cute or let’s say sexy! It’s always me who
has to initiate and God bless me if something goes wrong because I would be
suddenly called a creep or weirdo or a despo. Arghhh.
I think from my dick and
I am a BOKA? Well I am sorry that my testosterone makes me go crazy as soon as
I see a woman coming towards me. There’s that fault in my eyes and there’s
fault in my dick too that it stands still every time a hot lady appears. I
mentally undress her and fantasize everything everywhere possible in the
planet. But I don’t go to every woman to grope or fondle their body parts. Well
with so many rape cases being highlighted by the media you don’t have other
options too, but men as me do exist and you ought to reward them!
It hurts me when society tells that all
men are dogs but not all women are bitches. I have
seen women who married just to get divorced and
get money from the husband’s side; who have faked to become pregnant and
carried someone else’s child, accused men of rape using the guys drunken state
for their advantage. And people say women are the only victims :/
When I say this I don’t
mean it’s easy to be a woman. But you gotta step in my shoes too! At times I
just want to escape from all the pressure, stop being manly, stop being the
bread winner, embrace my insecurities and just not be called a loser. To that person who has this letter on
his/her hand how do you think should I behave? If you are a woman I desperately
need an advice if you are a man maybe you could relate!
Yours faithfully,
A privileged man
A privileged man
