A man’s letter to the world

Dear world,

I am a man. A privileged man as the society labels who has to ask his girl even before switching to the next channel. Here I welcome you all to my puny world. I can never open up and can never tell you what I feel as I fear I will be laughed at. I hate Amitabh Bacchan as my entire life was spent on proving that mardko dard nahi hota is true. My tear glands are expected to be dysfunctional and I have to bottle up my pain and if I accidentally do cry there is a high chance that I will be termed a wimp.

I don’t want people to leave me like my ex did just because I was not good enough. Since childhood I had been the man who women regard their dream boys to be like; who is loyal and who doesn’t disrespect them, yet I always got friend zoned because whatever philosophies women blurt out at the end she needs that filthy rich brat. Isn’t it funny? People said that it was her choice and she had the right to marry the right guy. Would the reactions be same had I dumped her saying that she wasn’t good enough or hot enough? We are looked at purely by how much money we make. I don’t have the liberty to quit my 8-4 job and to chase my dreams because that would mean there would always be a risk that I might fail; fail to pay for dates, fail to fill my ever thirsty bike with petrol. If I leave my job I would be a NIKAMMA but if my girl would leave her job and stay home with my family people would term her selfless. Why is marrying a rich guy no big deal but marrying a wealthy chic and expecting life to be better a sin? If men have always settled with less richer women why is it so tough for women to do so, now that they are so much into equality? Women are expected to be insecure and their insecurity is almost celebrated. Then why are we crucified and termed a looser if we are insecure?

Oh yes she also complained that I didn’t own a good physique. Why do women equate a man's body size with masculinity and status? It sucks when I have to fulfill a freaking criteria for a woman to even give me some time of her day .I hated it when my ex-girlfriend never introduced me to her friends circle because somewhere inside I knew she was embarrassed. Ohh! There were some sexy ones too. If she would ask me it would be an expectation but if I did similar it would be body shaming. Every time I scrolled through her search button she would call that as intruding her privacy and trust me majority of her searches’ would be boys. If I talked to other girl it would be flirting if she did so it would be just a polite gesture. It was her choice to interact with anyone at any time, with how many, for how long she felt like but me doing so would be seeing that girl in my block list the very other day.  There would always be a heated argument if I asked her to do the same, always.

I would never complain if I had to ride my bike every time we went for dates but if I had to give my bike for servicing and ask her to ride her scooter for a day she would make sure to repeat it every day till I got it for servicing next month.  Every time I give my bike for service and I have to travel through Nepal Yatayat I completely freak out. Not because of its super-fast speed, if you see me riding, I would bring the fastest rider to shame but I have to look around throughout the journey so that I don’t mistakenly touch any girl and I wouldn’t be the lusty guy.

She was already a mess and to kill me more the society popped up. Every time I carried her shopping bags aunties would claim that I had already become a “joitingre” before marriage and every time I made her carry her bags herself, the young girls around would call me rude. Ahh! The slim glistening legs of those girls. Why is it that every time a woman gets slapped or hit or raped there are thousands of organizations to fight for her but none for me? If I don’t retaliate I get called a COWARD if I do I am an oppressor. At times I and my brothers have to think twice before doing anything because we might be accused of being "sexist pigs" or "tools of the patriarchy."

After pleasing the girl of my life another bossy woman of my life my “mom” would be waiting for me fuming with anger. Women who say that their moms don’t allow them to come home late should have met mine. I am no different. After 7 my phone rings incessantly. My mom would be presuming that I was in drugs, while my ex-girlfriend would think I was screwing other women when I would be slogging in office just to find that one fault in coding. How could I forget my boss who never leaves a chance to make me feel that I am one big sucker!

Yes we are no more together now. But every time I imagine her with her NRN husband I go through and excruciating pain and I mentally wish that she would miss me and find me better in bed. I know I have been nagging throughout well I don’t know where I could vent my frustration.

Whatever it is I have moved on if it wasn’t her well there are plenty of women out there. Now I have started developing feelings for another girl. We go to dates or at least I feel so. When I pay for her, pull a chair for her and try to protect her from the world I don’t doubt on her strength but I want my gestures to prove my love for her because I do. She earns more than me and I have no problem with that. My woman’s success would never intimidate me because my love for her is bigger than my ego. I will have to be Bill Gates for not anyone to be richer and well technically I am not him. So it’s okay.

She can easily apply cake of makeup, wear push up bras and buttock enhancing garments, choose dresses from wide range of varieties, conceal her belly fat with belts, switch to a high heels and she looks amazing. What about me? Oh I can wear clean dresses and maybe a clean shave. Would that side plate make me look better? Why can’t women approach men if they find us cute or let’s say sexy! It’s always me who has to initiate and God bless me if something goes wrong because I would be suddenly called a creep or weirdo or a despo. Arghhh.

I think from my dick and I am a BOKA? Well I am sorry that my testosterone makes me go crazy as soon as I see a woman coming towards me. There’s that fault in my eyes and there’s fault in my dick too that it stands still every time a hot lady appears. I mentally undress her and fantasize everything everywhere possible in the planet. But I don’t go to every woman to grope or fondle their body parts. Well with so many rape cases being highlighted by the media you don’t have other options too, but men as me do exist and you ought to reward them!

It hurts me when society tells that all men are dogs but not all women are bitches. I have seen women who married just to get divorced and get money from the husband’s side; who have faked to become pregnant and carried someone else’s child, accused men of rape using the guys drunken state for their advantage. And people say women are the only victims :/

When I say this I don’t mean it’s easy to be a woman. But you gotta step in my shoes too! At times I just want to escape from all the pressure, stop being manly, stop being the bread winner, embrace my insecurities and just not be called a loser. To that person who has this letter on his/her hand how do you think should I behave? If you are a woman I desperately need an advice if you are a man maybe you could relate!

Yours faithfully,
A privileged man