YES I GET RED-ily WET

Studying in GEMS meant that we couldn’t attend our activities without our white skirts on. It was mathematics class when my friend experienced periods for the very first time.  I still remember how petrified and embarrassed she was when she came to know about it. She asked a friend close to her to walk her to the infirmary in such a way that no one would notice the blood spot. She went to the infirmary got a sanitary pad and had her skirt stapled in such a way that her stain wasn’t noticeable. She came to the class but as the staples couldn’t withstand the pressure of folds, it freed itself for all to see the blood spot very clearly. The guys started to ridicule her and the worst part the girls were trying to move farther rather than helping her out. Only when I reminded all the guys and girls that they had to pass through the very vagina of their mothers which bled every month to be born they kept their mouth shut. She couldn’t face the class for 3 consecutive days. How could I forget the ink spots? All the female students of GEMS can easily relate to me as a significant portion of their life went on spilling more ink on the blood spot so that it wouldn’t be visible.

Women have been bleeding since ages. Well the human civilization is a perfect evidence for it. But every time the topic MENSTRUATION CYCLE pops up people try to run away as if they were trying to plant bombs in front of Donald Trump. Every time the lesson 9 (As the book we read always had reproductive system and health as 9^th chapter from grade 7 to 10) in E.P.H comes; the teacher goes red and skips it. If by any chance the teacher is accountable, s/he reads through the entire process on one go and ends it and asks students to read themselves. Even that girl whose favorite color is pink and seems like walking candy floss would be casual for those four days and wear the darkest color available. The very first time I asked the shopkeeper of the pharmaceutical not to wrap the pad with sheets of newspapers he was struck in horror as if I had asked him a very intimate question. Not that he is comfortable with the concept already but things have slightly changed. But as I step out of the store suddenly eyes follow me as if sanitary pads were nightmares. What people really need to know is stigma and shame is taught. We have to break this cycle of learned embarrassment. The more we talk the less power will the stigma hold. Our hormones hits us pretty bad people should not make it tougher.

Suddenly the PMS monster possesses you and you go through the roller coaster of hormones. You smile and are all good and cheerful at a moment but the very other moment you get sad, frustrated, annoyed in things which doesn’t even demand slightest attention.  You get skin breakout, loose bowel, swelling feet, immensely painful back and thighs and hurting abdomen.  Pills and hot water bags suddenly becomes your sweetheart.

Whenever a pregnant woman walks by the road people congratulate her but never has she been congratulated for enduring the series of periods she has been through to get that baby. Would that be possible hadn’t she bled? Could people comment on Facebook pictures of their babies stating “awww” hadn’t she bled? How would the great grandparents get their panaati and panaatinis hadn’t the mother bled? Then why is such a cool thing getting so much of shame? Why is it still marked as “a tormenting thing” that sanitary advertisements claim that you will not feel like you are on periods if you wear their products? Why the message is pushed so bad that periods are gross? Why don’t people consider it to be a detox process? I don’t know how will the necessity to talk stop when no one talks about it. Why isn’t the pain ever talked about?  Talking about periods is a need of the hour and it’s no private women business. It should not be limited to be a parameter of not being pregnant for couples to be happy about. Yes I bleed and I bleed loads of it. The very first time I had one I believed I went through an infection. When my mom explained me everything properly then did I know about it. Ok I have not been through chaupadi, I am not left to die alone and my parents are cool enough to talk about it but still why do I talk about it?  I bleed every four days a month which makes it 48 days per year. I get that blood flood for 46,080 hours in my entire lifetime and I can’t endure those scornful eyes and hitler-ly dictatorship on what to do and what not to any more. I still have my well educated cousins who would ask me to stay in the corner and not even let me move. Not everyone I get surrounded with perceives it similarly so I need to talk about it.  If it’s that time of the month then there are people saying:

Don’t enter to temples?

I ask why?

They say Because it has been happening since ages.

I ask a why?

They have No answer.

If periods were so wrong why would their god invent it?

Well maybe they are right had it been many years back when people had little knowledge on menstrual hygiene or when sanitary pads weren’t readily available but now when people are already clean why intimidate the younger generations? Why not rather teach them about the better techniques?

Tell people

Just because the word “menstruation” has a “MEN” in it doesn’t help them to know everything. Remember women are the only reference for men to know how it feels. There’s no point on enduring the pain and not letting people know. If you are nauseatic and dizzy and you feel weak then BLURT IT OUT. Things get greater attention when hidden. None of my male friends have ever made fun of it when I have told that I am going through periods. But hiding it definitely provides a space for hush hush.

Don’t tell people

Opposite to the upper point? Well that’s what my mom has taught me. If you are not feeling unwell, you are perfectly fine and can work well you don’t have to let everyone know. Just make sure you have your pads on and you are ready to go.

What do I get out of it? I envision a period friendly society where my daughter would be heartily welcomed and not named impure if she were on her periods. Where she would always find her parents, teachers, friends and basically everyone if she feels low or curious about it .I envision a society where periods are taken naturally. See it's that simple!