A Woman's letter to the world!

Dear World,

I am a woman. A woman who constantly juggles her personal life and professional life yet is always taken for granted and never appreciated. If only you had to hire someone for everything I did, man you would be broke!
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“Keti bhayera dherai chumchum nagare hunxa. Bihe garera ghar chodne jaat hos, aafno thaauma bas”  if I would get a penny every time I had heard this I would have already been a billionaire with my photo in the Forbes list.
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Men based in Australia searching for nurses as their wives (because its economically profitable) is normal but if I search a business tycoon, Hey I am an official gold digger.
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And if I am a goal digger, its worse ain’t it? I mean that would make me arrogant and a bad mother right? And again if I clean my husband’s bank account I am definitely gonna be the highlight of the kitty party. If a male boss is stiff he is commanding if I do the same I am bossy. If I don’t respond when you approach as I am waiting for my drink in a bar I am arrogant and if I do I am ready to get in your pants. What logic!

Why is it that I am judgmental if I focus on appearances of a guy at the very first hand when I get marriage proposal but it’s not same in the men’s case if they look for bigger assets?

As I walk towards my office, it infuriates me when people say "Ek haatle taali Bajdaina" after reading news on rape cases. Seriously? Now tell me that a five year old goes to 40 years old and asks for it. Tell me a 75 years old woman who can barely walk gets raped because she is horny. (Claps)

If a guy enters to my home my neighbors beat Shakespeare and FBI. One for developing drama and second for too much of investigation. With their tiny minds and bigger mouths they keep on trumpeting. But hey whatever happens, the guy isn’t the one to be blamed. Blame on me. (Nods)

If I reach to a guy’s home it’s definite that I am to be blamed. How dare I go to my friend’s home? How dare I invite my friend in my home? Isn’t it giving him an open invitation? Let him awkwardly stand outside the gate in the scorching sun. Chuck the Atithi devo bhava. (Salute)

As soon as I hit 20s I am asked to learn cooking. Not because it is a skill that all human should possess but because hey my husband would not and could not do that. How can I believe males can’t cook when Gordon Ramsey (considered to be world’s best chef) is a god damn male? How can I believe males can’t cook when I find only male chefs with white aprons and white caps in every hotels and restaurants I go?

The worst one calling everything PMS. If I am angry it is assumed that I am going through that time of month. If I am sick, again that time of month. Then starts the custom of naming PMS as “naatak”. Before you call our PMS tantrums or nakhara or naatak do you have the slightest idea of how painful it is? I know now you will come up with the question do you know how painful it gets when someone hits you on your balls? No. I don’t have them so no. But do you get hit on your balls every 5 days a month? Nervous breakdowns, cramps, back pain, nausea, irritation, dizziness, bloating hits you all at the same time and you expect us to be normal?

If I am short who marries a Lilliput? If I am tall how will I find a boy? I mean who marries a walking Gulliver? If I am fat I am not a marriage material. Who is gonna marry me when I occupy two seats in a public vehicle? Fats only in ass and breasts look good not everywhere. And again If I am skinny (skinny enough to be called a toothpick or for the air to blow me) how can I carry my baby’s weight? Why am I just talking about marriage? Isn’t it the only thing that women are born for according to the society? If I don’t get married wouldn’t my relatives and neighbors be jobless? (Smirks)

Let’s suppose I am a rebel who marries the person I love. This love shuv should happen after marriage right? Considering that suppose I am a rebel. Once again it’s not the man to be blamed. I mean which man approaches for love? There are two people in a relationship but it’s only the woman to be interrogated, blamed and bashed. No one says hey you are a Nepali man you need to marry the girl who your parents choose, do they?

From the very first ritual and very first day I am expected to start my marital journey with sacrificing my surname and the list never ends. If I am sick any day then the line would be “biraami raixau. Dal bhaat pakaayera bhaada maajideu ani kapda haru dhoideu and satta bhui pusera rest gara na ta.” Why is it that you worship fictitious women but at times forget that we should be treated at least like a human being?

Why do I become “unmotherly” when I say I am not ready for a baby but my husband doesn’t become “unfatherly” if he says the same? Why is it okay for him to be career focused but not for me? Realizing that it’s me who has those mammary glands and uterus shouldn’t I be equally ready too?And if I am not ready to give birth I should be ready to hear words like infertile, baajho and what not? The worst part those words hardly come from men.

85% in bachelors degree, super pretty, topper of her batch. Well I am not talking about me that's my best friend. How you wish to be like her? How I wish no one has life like hers. A day before her boards too she is expected to organize a feast for her in-laws while her husband and  mother in law sit idle with their legs on the table. With smile attached on her face, she works without complaints. Only I remember her face when she said that she would never look at her in laws once she steps the foreign land. And you ask why do women these days want men who have settled outside Nepal?

“My wife is so childish” before you say that while munching those cashew nuts with whiskey on the rocks remember how much of care and attention you demand and how possessive you are. Okay I am not saying you to be charged up every single time. I know when we ourselves are not in a state to understand problems around us, you aren’t a god to get it. But at least stand besides and listen to it rather than just pretending.
 
I know it isn’t fair for me to blame men completely for the pain we have been going through. We women ourselves are responsible too. When women bash women, keep on backbiting about each other, treat daughter in laws poorly just because they didn’t come loaded with dowry, treat them harshly if they didn’t give birth to a male child and if they themselves do not support women our expectations from men seems futile.

See the world is neither men’s nor women’s; it’s ours. The fact that there are good men too cannot be fathomed. All I am saying is I want more of the good men and more of the good women. It’s not only babies that are born out of unison of male and female. The entire world becomes brighter if we are in a symphony. Maybe men have come from Mars and we from Venus but we have settled in earth and we should make it beautiful. Let’s share the load emotionally, financially and morally. It will not make me less of a woman and you less of a man.

Hoping for a change.
 
Yours faithfully,

A woman.