A man’s letter to the world

Dear world,

I am a man. A privileged man as the society labels who has to ask his girl even before switching to the next channel. Here I welcome you all to my puny world. I can never open up and can never tell you what I feel as I fear I will be laughed at. I hate Amitabh Bacchan as my entire life was spent on proving that mardko dard nahi hota is true. My tear glands are expected to be dysfunctional and I have to bottle up my pain and if I accidentally do cry there is a high chance that I will be termed a wimp.

I don’t want people to leave me like my ex did just because I was not good enough. Since childhood I had been the man who women regard their dream boys to be like; who is loyal and who doesn’t disrespect them, yet I always got friend zoned because whatever philosophies women blurt out at the end she needs that filthy rich brat. Isn’t it funny? People said that it was her choice and she had the right to marry the right guy. Would the reactions be same had I dumped her saying that she wasn’t good enough or hot enough? We are looked at purely by how much money we make. I don’t have the liberty to quit my 8-4 job and to chase my dreams because that would mean there would always be a risk that I might fail; fail to pay for dates, fail to fill my ever thirsty bike with petrol. If I leave my job I would be a NIKAMMA but if my girl would leave her job and stay home with my family people would term her selfless. Why is marrying a rich guy no big deal but marrying a wealthy chic and expecting life to be better a sin? If men have always settled with less richer women why is it so tough for women to do so, now that they are so much into equality? Women are expected to be insecure and their insecurity is almost celebrated. Then why are we crucified and termed a looser if we are insecure?

Oh yes she also complained that I didn’t own a good physique. Why do women equate a man's body size with masculinity and status? It sucks when I have to fulfill a freaking criteria for a woman to even give me some time of her day .I hated it when my ex-girlfriend never introduced me to her friends circle because somewhere inside I knew she was embarrassed. Ohh! There were some sexy ones too. If she would ask me it would be an expectation but if I did similar it would be body shaming. Every time I scrolled through her search button she would call that as intruding her privacy and trust me majority of her searches’ would be boys. If I talked to other girl it would be flirting if she did so it would be just a polite gesture. It was her choice to interact with anyone at any time, with how many, for how long she felt like but me doing so would be seeing that girl in my block list the very other day.  There would always be a heated argument if I asked her to do the same, always.

I would never complain if I had to ride my bike every time we went for dates but if I had to give my bike for servicing and ask her to ride her scooter for a day she would make sure to repeat it every day till I got it for servicing next month.  Every time I give my bike for service and I have to travel through Nepal Yatayat I completely freak out. Not because of its super-fast speed, if you see me riding, I would bring the fastest rider to shame but I have to look around throughout the journey so that I don’t mistakenly touch any girl and I wouldn’t be the lusty guy.

She was already a mess and to kill me more the society popped up. Every time I carried her shopping bags aunties would claim that I had already become a “joitingre” before marriage and every time I made her carry her bags herself, the young girls around would call me rude. Ahh! The slim glistening legs of those girls. Why is it that every time a woman gets slapped or hit or raped there are thousands of organizations to fight for her but none for me? If I don’t retaliate I get called a COWARD if I do I am an oppressor. At times I and my brothers have to think twice before doing anything because we might be accused of being "sexist pigs" or "tools of the patriarchy."

After pleasing the girl of my life another bossy woman of my life my “mom” would be waiting for me fuming with anger. Women who say that their moms don’t allow them to come home late should have met mine. I am no different. After 7 my phone rings incessantly. My mom would be presuming that I was in drugs, while my ex-girlfriend would think I was screwing other women when I would be slogging in office just to find that one fault in coding. How could I forget my boss who never leaves a chance to make me feel that I am one big sucker!

Yes we are no more together now. But every time I imagine her with her NRN husband I go through and excruciating pain and I mentally wish that she would miss me and find me better in bed. I know I have been nagging throughout well I don’t know where I could vent my frustration.

Whatever it is I have moved on if it wasn’t her well there are plenty of women out there. Now I have started developing feelings for another girl. We go to dates or at least I feel so. When I pay for her, pull a chair for her and try to protect her from the world I don’t doubt on her strength but I want my gestures to prove my love for her because I do. She earns more than me and I have no problem with that. My woman’s success would never intimidate me because my love for her is bigger than my ego. I will have to be Bill Gates for not anyone to be richer and well technically I am not him. So it’s okay.

She can easily apply cake of makeup, wear push up bras and buttock enhancing garments, choose dresses from wide range of varieties, conceal her belly fat with belts, switch to a high heels and she looks amazing. What about me? Oh I can wear clean dresses and maybe a clean shave. Would that side plate make me look better? Why can’t women approach men if they find us cute or let’s say sexy! It’s always me who has to initiate and God bless me if something goes wrong because I would be suddenly called a creep or weirdo or a despo. Arghhh.

I think from my dick and I am a BOKA? Well I am sorry that my testosterone makes me go crazy as soon as I see a woman coming towards me. There’s that fault in my eyes and there’s fault in my dick too that it stands still every time a hot lady appears. I mentally undress her and fantasize everything everywhere possible in the planet. But I don’t go to every woman to grope or fondle their body parts. Well with so many rape cases being highlighted by the media you don’t have other options too, but men as me do exist and you ought to reward them!

It hurts me when society tells that all men are dogs but not all women are bitches. I have seen women who married just to get divorced and get money from the husband’s side; who have faked to become pregnant and carried someone else’s child, accused men of rape using the guys drunken state for their advantage. And people say women are the only victims :/

When I say this I don’t mean it’s easy to be a woman. But you gotta step in my shoes too! At times I just want to escape from all the pressure, stop being manly, stop being the bread winner, embrace my insecurities and just not be called a loser. To that person who has this letter on his/her hand how do you think should I behave? If you are a woman I desperately need an advice if you are a man maybe you could relate!

Yours faithfully,
A privileged man

YES I GET RED-ily WET

Studying in GEMS meant that we couldn’t attend our activities without our white skirts on. It was mathematics class when my friend experienced periods for the very first time.  I still remember how petrified and embarrassed she was when she came to know about it. She asked a friend close to her to walk her to the infirmary in such a way that no one would notice the blood spot. She went to the infirmary got a sanitary pad and had her skirt stapled in such a way that her stain wasn’t noticeable. She came to the class but as the staples couldn’t withstand the pressure of folds, it freed itself for all to see the blood spot very clearly. The guys started to ridicule her and the worst part the girls were trying to move farther rather than helping her out. Only when I reminded all the guys and girls that they had to pass through the very vagina of their mothers which bled every month to be born they kept their mouth shut. She couldn’t face the class for 3 consecutive days. How could I forget the ink spots? All the female students of GEMS can easily relate to me as a significant portion of their life went on spilling more ink on the blood spot so that it wouldn’t be visible.

Women have been bleeding since ages. Well the human civilization is a perfect evidence for it. But every time the topic MENSTRUATION CYCLE pops up people try to run away as if they were trying to plant bombs in front of Donald Trump. Every time the lesson 9 (As the book we read always had reproductive system and health as 9^th chapter from grade 7 to 10) in E.P.H comes; the teacher goes red and skips it. If by any chance the teacher is accountable, s/he reads through the entire process on one go and ends it and asks students to read themselves. Even that girl whose favorite color is pink and seems like walking candy floss would be casual for those four days and wear the darkest color available. The very first time I asked the shopkeeper of the pharmaceutical not to wrap the pad with sheets of newspapers he was struck in horror as if I had asked him a very intimate question. Not that he is comfortable with the concept already but things have slightly changed. But as I step out of the store suddenly eyes follow me as if sanitary pads were nightmares. What people really need to know is stigma and shame is taught. We have to break this cycle of learned embarrassment. The more we talk the less power will the stigma hold. Our hormones hits us pretty bad people should not make it tougher.

Suddenly the PMS monster possesses you and you go through the roller coaster of hormones. You smile and are all good and cheerful at a moment but the very other moment you get sad, frustrated, annoyed in things which doesn’t even demand slightest attention.  You get skin breakout, loose bowel, swelling feet, immensely painful back and thighs and hurting abdomen.  Pills and hot water bags suddenly becomes your sweetheart.

Whenever a pregnant woman walks by the road people congratulate her but never has she been congratulated for enduring the series of periods she has been through to get that baby. Would that be possible hadn’t she bled? Could people comment on Facebook pictures of their babies stating “awww” hadn’t she bled? How would the great grandparents get their panaati and panaatinis hadn’t the mother bled? Then why is such a cool thing getting so much of shame? Why is it still marked as “a tormenting thing” that sanitary advertisements claim that you will not feel like you are on periods if you wear their products? Why the message is pushed so bad that periods are gross? Why don’t people consider it to be a detox process? I don’t know how will the necessity to talk stop when no one talks about it. Why isn’t the pain ever talked about?  Talking about periods is a need of the hour and it’s no private women business. It should not be limited to be a parameter of not being pregnant for couples to be happy about. Yes I bleed and I bleed loads of it. The very first time I had one I believed I went through an infection. When my mom explained me everything properly then did I know about it. Ok I have not been through chaupadi, I am not left to die alone and my parents are cool enough to talk about it but still why do I talk about it?  I bleed every four days a month which makes it 48 days per year. I get that blood flood for 46,080 hours in my entire lifetime and I can’t endure those scornful eyes and hitler-ly dictatorship on what to do and what not to any more. I still have my well educated cousins who would ask me to stay in the corner and not even let me move. Not everyone I get surrounded with perceives it similarly so I need to talk about it.  If it’s that time of the month then there are people saying:

Don’t enter to temples?

I ask why?

They say Because it has been happening since ages.

I ask a why?

They have No answer.

If periods were so wrong why would their god invent it?

Well maybe they are right had it been many years back when people had little knowledge on menstrual hygiene or when sanitary pads weren’t readily available but now when people are already clean why intimidate the younger generations? Why not rather teach them about the better techniques?

Tell people

Just because the word “menstruation” has a “MEN” in it doesn’t help them to know everything. Remember women are the only reference for men to know how it feels. There’s no point on enduring the pain and not letting people know. If you are nauseatic and dizzy and you feel weak then BLURT IT OUT. Things get greater attention when hidden. None of my male friends have ever made fun of it when I have told that I am going through periods. But hiding it definitely provides a space for hush hush.

Don’t tell people

Opposite to the upper point? Well that’s what my mom has taught me. If you are not feeling unwell, you are perfectly fine and can work well you don’t have to let everyone know. Just make sure you have your pads on and you are ready to go.

What do I get out of it? I envision a period friendly society where my daughter would be heartily welcomed and not named impure if she were on her periods. Where she would always find her parents, teachers, friends and basically everyone if she feels low or curious about it .I envision a society where periods are taken naturally. See it's that simple!

Why romantic novels are my cup of coffee!

Why romantic novels are my cup of coffee

and can be yours too ;)

I step inside. The smell of freshly printed books waft around the book store and the book covers make it all colorful. It’s a place I visit almost every month. The salesperson hands me a bestseller by so and so writer but I silently keep it in a corner and end up right in front of romantic novels. He explains how important it is to try other genre too and asks me why I am stuck in books with similar theme and similar plot which never seems to change. Why because it has always been my layered cup of coffee which when blended together makes a heavenly combination and doesn’t let me sleep.

It’s like the Cream with chocolate syrup on the top which melts in my mouth as soon as I scoop it with spoon. It transcends me to a different world and helps me in escapism. It captivates me. I step in the characters shoes and take a roller coaster ride. I anticipate turns, I silently wish the guy to make the first move, I wish  turmoil to end as soon as it begins and eagerly wait for the girl or the guy to call to fix their break-up. My whole day ends up being gloomy if the characters don’t conquer the battles or somehow die. I know that “Prince charming” doesn’t exist but I still read about one as I secretly yearn for the guys that the writers define. Why? Simply because it doesn’t exist but by reading them I can run out of reality. The things which I feel wouldn’t ever take place does take place and it’s the only platform where my guilt’s, fantasies and desires live peacefully with each other. Why should I read things which I see and feel every day and which is absolutely fact? Every time a couple triumphantly passes through a troublesome phase the inner me dances with childlike glee. It comes into my life like a Chocolate wafer which comes along with Mocha. Plus point it also presents a rough guideline how my guy should be like (Rough as in expecting the prince charming with all qualities would be impossible and too much of pressure on the guy).

“Old wine served in a new bottle”

Well in today’s context romantic novels are not all about fairy taili-ish love with stinking rich guys who know how to sweep any women off her feet, take her to rides in freaking expensive cars, gifts her Swarovski diamonds and saves a white complexioned girl riding on a horse any more. It’s not about women who have 36-24-36 body, whose eyes are deep as oceans, whose eyebrows seem perfectly carved, whose voice seems like melody and who is a perfect marriage material. It’s about the bookworm girl with disheveled hair, fats clearly visible wiggling in every touch and who looks at the world through her Harry Potter glasses and smiles with her braces. It’s about that girl who is a rebel and would prefer to bash evil people around rather than going to the salon and walking with shiny stilettos. It’s about the not so tall guy with pimples, who would easily get lost among crowd and who would stealthily wear cakes of makeup and sari and endures the ragging silently. It’s about the guy who cries every time something pinches him and has high inferiority complex but still gets to have a beautiful girl beside him because of the beautiful soul he possesses. It’s about that student from engineering, about the banker of Wall Street, a ballet dancer, a pilot and about very common person . It’s about the pesky relatives and the nosy neighbors who don’t and won’t allow love stories to be a merry ride. It’s about waiting for people to know your value, it’s about the emotional taunts from parents, and it’s about storms and hurricanes. It’s about love which isn’t leveled, where guys fall for guys, where women find their soul mate in women and that’s no sin for aunties to make comment on. It’s something like bitter Espresso which shows the reality of today and brings you back to the ground.

That’s how romantic novels bring both worlds into one. It smoothly unveils our fantasies but keeps reality all along. It contours fears but presents the palette of difficulties too. It presents fact but doesn’t forget to wrap it with intricate designs of desires too.  It triggers your inner demons  and pacifies you too. If that doesn’t make you happy,I don’t know what will!

Free education till 12, feasible?

Imagine a new Nepal, a Nepal with free education where the rich and poor could assemble in the same hall, play in the same ground and study in the same class. Sounds alluring right? But can Nepal afford free education? Is free education actually free? With some political parties highly pitching for free education and planning to shut private organizations down we should analyze how feasible it is in today’s context.

It’s an undeniable fact that there has been a huge difference between the performance of students of private institutions and government institutions. The state of government schools is in decline while the private institutions are prospering and are striving for quality education and developing newer methodologies of learning.  With irregularities in class, lack in quality of teachers, resources, less exposure to practical knowledge and poor English background majority of government school products are finding it tough to compete in global arena. Political influence and political instability adds more to it. Private school breeds more success than failure and government breeds more failure than success and it isn’t the students to be blamed, it’s the government’s policies and its poor implementation and lack of reward and punishment system. In the past ten years, the success rate of students from private schools in SLC examination has been around 90 percent. Those who perform poorly are usually from public or government schools where the success rate in SLC has been less than thirty percent and this statistics becomes more disheartening and discouraging when one realizes that 80 percent of the general Nepalese population goes to public schools.

Dissatisfied with public schools’ inability to prepare their children for the cut throat competitive era and due to status quo, parents either send their children to private schools or abroad. Private schools run classes regularly and if due to any technical reasons they are unable to do so they utilize the weekends. They have a strict calendar and proper time table to follow which makes teachers, parents and students work accordingly. Parents are called for regular parent’s teachers meeting in order to improve the ways of teaching and their children’s performance. Parents get concerned even if their children’s percentage decreases by one percent. Regular assessments are held to analyze students’ performance and regular staff meetings are held. Extra classes are provided to weak students and mock examinations are conducted.While in public schools, teacher attrition and absenteeism is very high. In spite of having more than 95 percent trained teachers the performance of government schools are declining. Weak management skills, inconsistent appraisals, appointments/promotion on political bonds and kinship ties have left teachers often suffering from low morale and motivation. Lack of ownership and high politicization has led to the downfall of quality education. Remedial support for struggling students doesn’t exist. There is less focus on harnessing understanding and practical application of ideas or creativity and critical thinking.

Libraries may be set up, but the environment for students to go there and study is lacking. Many government schools aren’t currently providing a safe and welcoming teaching learning environment. Classrooms in rural areas may have a leaking roof, insufficient materials and are dusty and dirty with no bins to dispose dirt. Rooms are often poorly lit or ventilated. Schools still lack clean and adequate toilet facilities due to which the female students don’t go to schools for a certain portion of the month. Even if the resources are available they are not utilized to their full extent.There are areas in which the government isn’t able to send text books even after the completion of entire course. As head teachers in various schools have been leading the school and teaching the students as a full time teacher simultaneously they haven’t been able to effectively monitor teaching and learning in their schools. Political interference of student and teacher union and their so called politics has hit the higher studies harder .Every time the demands of the student leaders aren’t met they embrace the ways of vandalism and agitation.

Public schools have now become a refuge for the children of poor and disadvantaged families. Lack of effective inspection, monitoring and evaluation systems and frequent strikes disrupt school openings and planned activities in schools contributing to negative perceptions on the quality of public education. A mass exodus is taking place from public to private organizations. The widening gap between these two types of schools is creating stratification and undermining our social cohesion.

In this context will free education be the ultimate solution? Will the culture of mediocrity eradicate? What will happen to the investments that have been done in the private sector? Will the government provide the investment back to the investors? In government schools students are usually found goofing around. Even if the country starts providing free education it can’t be assured that students would actually be serious as the chances of bunking increases as you value something only when you have to pay for it. “As parents of  students of government schools have no investment or very minimal investment in children’s education in comparison to those of private schools it has led to ownership causing setback in education in government schools” states Nawang Thora Sherpa a Teach for Nepal fellow. “I conducted a diagnostic test at my initial phase of teaching and I was shocked to see that the students of grade six couldn’t even pass the curriculum of grade 2”

As we all know Nepal isn’t a poor country it is a poorly managed country. It is not economically poor it is mentally poor. Rather than complaining about the widening gap between public and private schools, planting bombs in private institutions and trying to close all the private institutions down and jumping to free education, focus should be done on initiatives to improve the existing situation. In a longer run Nepal can transcend to free education system like Finland, Norway, Sweden and Germany but the present need of Nepal is to enhance and monitor the existing system, run remedial classes, implement hire and fire system, increase public participation and public concern and develop a sense of ownership.  The government should tap the untapped and discover the undiscovered intelligence and talent covered under impoverishment and destitution. It should create an environment for national and international students to study. Students should be politically aware but the very politics shouldn’t be hindrance and resources vandalism shouldn’t be valid just because the students are affiliated to some political party.

SUSI Diaries

White Beats headphone on maximum volume, tapping my feet and waiting for the flight details to be announced, I was seated with five of my other Nepali mates in Hamad International Airport. Had I known the journey of two months would be this exciting I wouldn't have wasted a single second. Ten minutes later came my friends from Srilanka and Bangladesh and we were ready to embark a journey towards Seattle, the Emerald city. If I was alone there, trust me, I would’ve lost my mind with that child in front of me crying throughout the journey, the bland food of Qatar airways and a Nepali grandma poking me every five minutes. But then Upakar, Upendra and Prashanti came to my rescue. By cracking riddles and jokes which made no logic and laughing so hard, easily catching attention of everyone around us, our journey started. As soon as we landed in Seattle, we saw the staff from FIUTS eagerly waiting for us with colorful paper signs. If only they knew how mischievous we were, they would probably have been a little less excited at our arrival!

Soft rain, colorful surrounding and lights everywhere - that’s how the University of Washington welcomed us. Sudden change in weather, people wearing multiple layers and with little Thailand, little Korea, little India and little other countries there was a small world in the premises of Udub itself. Sitting in a hall from 9 to almost 7 doesn’t sound exciting at all but the moments we stole from the time left were precious. The aroma of coffee from Starbucks in every block, the last minute of going through few pages of text books individually and sharing it with friends just in order to be safe from punishments and the random paper conversations while the classes were ongoing, that’s how our first week started. With such a huge time difference and the habit of reaching late to every place “a typical Nepali tendency”, it was really tough for us to adjust with the time schedule as punctuality was at its best there. In order to make our journey more fun FIUTS allotted each SUSI participant with an ambassador from the University of Washington. Mine was Mrunmayee Shetee. From history of journalism to the techniques of reporting and various leadership exercises the first week was fully packed.

In the first weekend, with our shades on, a bag full of enough food and water and ample of sunscreen applied on skin all the SUSI participants were ready for a hike. We hiked our way through the gigantic rocks of Mount Rainier, slipping, falling and getting up again amidst the melting snow on the mountain. We struggled on our hike but still managed to get good pictures of everyone! At the end of the long day we started a bonfire under the starry sky. Amid the silent pine trees in the windless night we made s’mores and sang songs in our respective languages and shared stories from home. It was a perfect weekend for all of us!

The next week our preparation for individual articles started. All the participants were either busy in their laptops searching contacts or busy talking to their ambassadors. Some were busy taking interviews on Skype while some were reading books to dig information. Just to help us get out of the monotonous schedule FIUTS took us to the Safeco field to watch a baseball game. Well I knew what baseball is but I didn't understand the game that well before then. Even after watching the entire match I couldn’t understand the game completely (though I understood many rules) but the fun in the virtual games that were played on the screen, the cheering, the hooting, the DAI HO LEE tune, the Mexican wave, the rhythm of the claps all were out of the world. Like the cherry on the cupcake, the fireworks made our night. Slowly and gradually we had come to know the ways and alleys around the university. One of the shining moments of the second week was  night stroll in Kerry park. Competing with the American children in the games, climbing the rope webs, falling from the spiral slides, finishing the maze and getting drenched in the international fountain brought the child inside me out.

The second and third weeks were full of site visits and who helped us “THE GOOGLE MAP lady”. In order to help us understand about the execution of media houses, their functioning and the workstyle of the journalists in Seattle we were taken to TVW, KUOW, Geekwire, Seattle Daily and the Seattle Times. One of the unique media houses I saw in Seattle was Real Change. It was very impressive because it employed homeless people for paper distribution. With our ambassadors we were taken to a cruise ride which was icy cold but as it was the first experience for us all, every one of us was excited. Uncountable jelly fish swayed with the waves with their tentacles constantly moving in the sea. Besides the time difference, one of the hardest things to adjust with was the food in America. We south Asians who have been habituated to eat warm rice and lentils had to eat cold sandwiches and burgers everyday which kind of felt good the first few days but was difficult to cope up with. But when the district market started to prepare rice and pulses there used to be a long queue. It felt weird when I saw Nepali people in U.S meet each other even when it would demand for travelling hours of distance but when we visited Nepali restaurants it was totally shocking to observe ourselves talking to every next other Nepali people.  

I was not at all happy spending a major portion of my day inside a hall itself but when I look back integrating so many things in such a short time span couldn't have been better. Meeting different people in a new environment and learning newer things was a great experience. It was really challenging but rewarding for us to step out of our comfort zone. There were times when the people we were interacting with were not friendly at all and we would succumb. But once we did that we were able to understand that it was all in the brain. The execution of media houses there was completely different. The best part of the media people there was that every single individual would listen to your views and try their best to quench your curiosity. They would encourage and entertain our questions and every single task was transparent.

The fourth week was the most memorable one. It was our last week in Seattle and I believe we connected to each other in this very week. Preparation of momos with our ambassadors, random walks, chats, camp fire at the beach and games helped to make our bond even stronger. The participants with their ambassadors went for dinner, viewed the Seattle skyline from the top of Space Needle. In this week I got a new family outside my home – a sweet nephew, lovely pet Mia who would welcome me every time with its wagging tail and lovely dad and mom. With a separate room full of stuffed pandas everywhere, glass pieces with small pandas, statues of pandas, first hand and foot impressions of baby Ayden and building blocks just ahead of me Thompson family welcomed me. The home which I was sent for my homestay was similar to that I had expected my dream house to be. Every corner had different pieces from different parts of the world; one could feel the liveliness and happiness in the house as soon as one entered. My American dad and mom took me to bavarian village of Leavenworth a place which ditto felt like the sets of Dilwale. Men dressed like cowboys were riding tourists in horse carriage with those beautiful draperies. Vintage homes lined by colorful flowers, antique pieces and lights all around it was a perfect place for a date. Mexican music and orchestra was playing around and children were blowing bubbles all around. Men and women were enjoying with pitchers of beers and it felt like they had the entire time in the world. I met Mateo who was just a child but made my remaining weeks in U.S lovely.

Leaving Seattle was very hard. It was tough to leave my new family and I was very sad to see the ambassadors crying (though I was the very one who was nagging everyone) but it had to be done as Chicago was waiting for us. Though the journey of Chicago started in a bittersweet (with the news of various gunshot cases and my dollars stolen) the other days helped me to forget it. Chicago was exactly the America which we picture in our mind – tall skyscrapers, busy people, big statues and museums.  The best part of Chicago was its nightlife. It felt like I could spend days looking at those colorful skyscrapers and the fountain which would dance with the background song merrily. The visit to Newseum was no less. The way Newseum portrayed the history of journalism via 3D movie was commendable. History was never this fun. Looking the history so close that you could actually feel the world wars, the struggle of journalists, the challenges yourself is totally an unexplainable experience. As I am not that fond of museums DC did not turn out to be my dream destination but it was amazing to see how well the history was preserved and people were exploring for more details. History was worshipped initiatives were respected. Tombstones, memorials, scripts, objects were perfectly managed and there were guides who knew very single minor details of that places. Bus drives were carried out so that people could learn about it.

United States is undoubtedly a very beautiful place to be but Nepal would be much better only if it was a little developed. One of the best things of United States was that people respected profession regardless of what job you do and they highly prioritized independence. I could see ten-year-old girls playing violin in order to earn money. People invested a huge amount of their money on recreation and amassing materials. The other best part about States was that people were very hard working. If only program as SUSI would be conducted in Nepal it would demand for minimum 10-12 staffs which were handled by only five staffs in total. Majority of the teachers were females and it was quite encouraging to see them teach so well even with their babies with them. The daily tasks were very simplified with the use of technology. All the vegetables and fruits were cleaned before selling, all the things required for daily activities were available in very one store and with the use of machines like washing machine, dish washer and dicer the time to finish household chores was reduced to exactly fifty percent. It was really good to see how artifacts are preserved and explored more and more and the thirst for knowledge would never end. It felt amazing to see how any person could extract information from the places they like and journalists didn’t require certificates to practice journalism.

I believed that the leg pulling tendency is only prevalent in the south Asian political scenario but it was quite disturbing to see how low political contenders could stoop in order to achieve the position during electoral period even in the States. It might have advantages of its own but I was not at all happy seeing marijuana legalized. Children were directly exposed to it which was certain to encourage them to develop tendency as such in future.  I assumed that there would be no homeless people in states but after seeing homeless people living in tents under the bridge and asking for money I felt that whichever country you go there exist poor people. It was more surprising to see some homeless people wearing suits and carrying iPhones. Later after listening to various stories I realized that a millionaire yesterday would turn to be a beggar the very next day as the health facilities were too expensive. But unlike in south Asian countries people would not have to die of hunger as the government would distribute the food coupons and there were food banks from which the homeless people could collect food materials and toiletries. We in our home country believed that America is a progressive country with open minded people. With American government emphasizing so much on empowering women, creating safer environment for them and bringing new rights I believed that it would be a safe place or a place of imagination for women. I was totally shocked when I found that America was no different from our country.

Presenting all those shiny moments in words would be impossible. Nevertheless I will miss those irrelevant and nonsensical riddles of Upakar, “you know I read an article” of Prashanti, Raja sahaab Upendra’s orders, I will miss the obsessiveness of Muaad in coffee and energy drink, vintage homes of barbarian village, the massage of Hiran, visit to capitol hill with Herish, the support of Jyoti, the cool attitude of Ananya, craziness of sarika, NO of Farzana, “YOU bitch” by Nyadooni :P the beautiful skyline of Seattle.I will miss banging saucepans and shouting with baby Ayden I will miss breaking all the traffic rules and running to harbor bridge just so that we wouldn’t miss the cruise. I will miss the ride with my American daddy in Harley Davidson , dipping  legs in the ocean and feeling the sea tides. I will miss the night strolls in UDub. I will miss playing with snow and falling down after every five steps. I will miss the view of the glistening tunnels which I saw with the hair flying in the rhythm of the wind.

Thank you  Stuart Thompson and Lynn Thompson for being a warm and welcoming family in an unknown city. Sorry Era Schrepfer, Qanani Kalil, Ellen Frierson, Tom Lang and Benett Corey Anderson as I have been a pain in the ass many times. But thank you for forgiving me every single time. I can’t say how grateful I am to each and every one of you for making my summer this beautiful! Loads of love!

Farewell Speech

A warm good afternoon honorable CEO, Respected principal, teachers, faculty members, staffs, my beloved friends, my seniors, my juniors and everyone present out here.  I am deeply honored to get an opportunity to speak in front of people who have come from different walks of life and who have so much of potential, knowledge and experiences to share with.

These three years of bachelor’s degree has an indelible presence in my life and these years were the most challenging years of my entire life where I had to prove myself in each and every step I took. In these three years I have met genuinely beautiful souls who have studded my life with precious memories and others who have helped me to learn lessons of life and helped me to learn the essence of struggle.

Somewhere in between principle of acceptance, principle of confidentiality, theory of feminism, psychoanalysis, ethics of a journalist and yellow journalism my three years has come to an end. Standing here in the threshold of my life I have some valuable lessons to share that I have learnt.

1

      1. Work smart

If only hard work would yield results trust me the African women would have become millionaires. Learn how to hit opportunities with skills.

2 Harness skills, polish them, refine them and become a better person

This is the age of making mistakes, falling and rising again and developing skills. Nepal still lacks visionary and skillful people. I believe the current political scenario is the perfect evidence to prove my argument. Get out of your comfort zone, convert your weaknesses to strength and challenges to opportunities.  Money will come along.

3 Develop your own network and connections

Might sound bitter but connections usually overpower effort and hard work. So go to different places, socialize and meet new people. When you have good people around you you will get your work done in a snap.

Finally Compare yourself with no one else than yourself. Every one of us are special in our own ways expecting a fish to climb a tree and an elephant to run like a cheetah is nothing else but a mere foolishness. You were born to stand out and make your life worthwhile. Remember you had to win millions of sperms to get this life that you’re living. You were a conqueror, are a conqueror and will have to remain a conqueror because history only remembers the successful one.
  

Most of us will leave this city and maybe this country as well in few months and fate knows whether we will meet each other again or not. But if my prayers work, I wish all of you present out here get your aspirations fulfilled and have a blissful life ahead.

Thank you one and all and enjoy the evening :)

No Reservation Please

Dear government,

Whenever I reach to any place for an interview or selection the very first thing I do is go through the list of candidates . Not because I doubt on my capabilities but I fear that my “surname” might turn out to be a bain for me. Had I been a Brahman almost hundred years ago the situation might have been completely different.

But alas belonging to the so called superior hierarchy today has itself become a tragedy to me and especially to all those Brahman and Chhetri men who are systematically denied from opportunities just because they were born as Brahmans or Chhetris.

It might seem queer that a woman who is highly benefited by 33% reservation is writing this message but the provision itself seems and sounds like a fabricated favor to minorities (either women or men belonging to different ethnic groups) where they are proved to be less capable. Well the concept of reservation was brought up for a noble cause. But has this reservation actually been empowering people?

Well I don’t believe so. The system has crippled people in such a way that once the system ends all the people will be scattered into distorted mass. It has made people so much parasitic that tomorrow if they don’t get similar opportunities they will definitely choose the way of conflict and why not? Why to work hard day and night when the thing you pine for comes in your life with so less efforts just because you are an individual from minorities.

A Brahman needs to score above 85% while an individual from minority only needs to cross 70 %. A Brahman man has to spend years to obtain one thing while in very few efforts a man/woman from minority does it all in a snap.I am not undermining the efforts of those individual of minority but I know the pain when your efforts do not yield result automatically discouraging people and killing their motivation. Even the INGOS that belongs to countries like U.S.A and U.K which is guided by the principle that all are born equal drastically change their philosophies as soon as they step in Nepal and ask provisions for minorities. I hardly see Brahman and Chhetri men in INGOs and embassies as the vacancies favors a minority. Programs on empowerment of people belonging to minority are conducted in four star or five star hotels where the maximum funds are spent. The already empowered people are invited, speeches are delivered, delicacies are served, people exchange customary greetings and the fund as well as the program ends. Who is benefited here? The hotel owner and yes the organization for adding program in its list.

Until and unless you don’t reach to the root of the problem the situation will remain constant. I know it’s hard for you as well. When we cannot make all our family members happy however hard we try you have countless families to look after. But I also know that had my mother not treated me and my sister equally, it might have resulted into sibling rivalry. This system will not only create crevasses and gaps in the relation of  men and women or the people belonging to different ethnic groups which will be very difficult to bridge in but might also lead to communal riot. The bitterness might completely break these relationships. 

Example: A son/daughter of Madhesi, Janajati and Dalit doctor/industrialist/business tycoon has equal opportunity as a son/daughter of Brahmin and Chhetri to develop himself/herself. But rather then reaching to the financially weak and uneducated people, rich minority benefit from it. I have seen people getting selected for quotas by fooling the government officials where they study in private schools until grade nine and study at government schools in grade ten with home tutions to be applicable for the quota system. While a child whose family cannot even offer the child two meals a day has to sacrifice his/her aspirations as s/he was born Brahman. The people in Terai manage to live in a whatsoever manner while people in hilly and mountain regions die as they have no transportation facility and have to walk miles to even get to a health facility. There are many Brahmans in far western and mid western development region who are living lives which is even hard to imagine. In this case who seems the actual vulnerable?  Aren’t they the citizens of Nepal? Or should they be punished because some of the Brahmans have reached to a high post? Isn’t it your responsibility to address their needs and demands as well? The reservation for differently able people can be justifiable as their body doesn’t support them in every task. But others do have their hands and legs which can help them to gain success if they work hard. With 45% reservation seat and only 55% of free competition how can we expect quality?

You can take the example of the recent results of Tribhuvan University as well where many people were agitated as the toppers were Brahman. Does the government need to start a new system as a non minority topper and minority topper now? Or should people be judged by their capabilities?

Martin Luther King had once said in his speech that he envisions the world not to judge his children by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I too envision a Nepal where people get success by their hard work rather than their surname. Otherwise the day isn’t far where Brahmins will be the suppressed ones. I know very well how much the people from Dalit groups and Janajati groups had to suffer due to untouchability and how hard is it for them to emerge out from their past. But I also know injustice cannot be a solution for removing injustice. The  provision of reservation must be time bound. As our constitution isn’t rigid and can be reformed at required time changes must take place.

My only request to you is to help them to help themselves. Give equal opportunities to all. work on minimizing the differences between haves and have not's . Improve the quality of the government schools so that people will not have to migrate in Kathmandu and can live in their own places. Create a plane from where people of all sex, caste, creed and color can reach to any place as they wish and let them be on their own. Create an independent individual not a parasite. I hope another individual like me will not have to write a letter as such again in the years to come.

Yours Sincerely,

A Nepali citizen

Welcoming 2016

Flipping the pages back, the year 2015 was a beautiful journey with numerous ups and downs, surprises, achievements, as well as challenges and difficulties. Looking the year surfatially life was full of struggles shaken by earthquake, strangled by embargo, deaths, terror and violence everywhere but when I plunge deep there were pretty beautiful moments to celebrate. The slight touch of old people with eyes full of gratitude, the tight hug of children, the happiness when your students pass with hundred percent results, the satisfaction when your efforts yield results, the smile you earn after serving the needy and the remembrances of people whose lives you have touched are the memories which will always be cherished.

This year made me realize that my life was much easier than that of many individuals of Nepal. It made me feel the afflictions of people as well as helped me realize the potentials of youth after seeing their rigorous efforts during earthquake. I saw god in those helping hands while I saw devils on those people who were using the aids for their personal gains. Individually the year 2015 helped me identify true friends and the fake ones and made me a strong woman. Life threw me to the wolves and I returned leading a pack. I learnt that life doesn’t get easier we just tend to get stronger. The only regret of this year was I wasted too much of time on people who weren’t worth it.

Nevertheless realizing the quicker we let go our past the sooner a brighter path will await, I am really excited for 2016. I don’t have any resolution as such but I have made my mind to utilize the upcoming days to an optimum level (remembering to take breaths). I will make sure this year will be much more awesome than last year and I will indulge myself in those activities which will make me happy. At the end of the day isn’t life all about happiness?

Humanities: Brighter than Before

Previously I was a student of science faculty. Even after spending two precious years of my life in this stream I found it fruitless in finding the width of intestines and knowing the chemical structure of the elements I would never use in my entire life. Whenever I attended social gatherings every single individual would either be talking about politics, malfunctions of the society or the socio-economical or the cultural situation of the country. No one ever asked me about the formulae of anti derivative or the enzymes present in saliva there.  Some people also suggested me to give a try for MBBS. But after calculating the investments I had to make, I didn’t find it to be profitable. Even after 10 years of study( 4 years in MBBS,1 year internship,2 years in MD and 3 more years for higher studies) and investment of minimum 1 crore rupees people would call me a junior doctor at least until my hair turned white. It was evident that I could never save that much money until and unless I choose the wrong ways.  If I would invest equal amount of hard work and time on any other fields the results would be huge. Telling in short I had already realized that science and me, we were entirely opposite to each other and didn’t attract in any circumstances. Thus I finally decided to put brakes on my relationship with science and connect with social science. It doesn’t mean that science is not a fruitful subject. Every single field has its uniqueness, its scope and opportunities. Even a social worker needs doctors, engineers and many more people in the course of their job.  The only thing was that we weren’t fit for each other.

“21^st century” as soon as we hear this, the word that immediately comes to our mind is cut throat competition, modernization and advancement and a “degree” has a pivotal role in this era. By nature I am extrovert, I love exploring things and helping people.  Thus in order to achieve the same “degree” with the essence besides, I opened the gates of GoldenGate. Travelling down the memory lane I still remember my first day in the college: Spiral notebooks, fresh set of pens, crisp ironed uniform and me. Now I am standing in the last year of my “BSW” life with hardly two months of studies left.  These three years flew in such a swift manner that it was hard to believe. People say that science is a practical based subject while humanities isn’t.  If only they could know how the life of social work students is I assure you they would change their minds. Every single student who is studying BSW must work 260 hours in an organization compulsorily. He has to go to many more organizations to conduct research, prepare seminar papers, reports and presentations. He/she has to develop programs and only then can they attain good marks and finish the course.

In this very three years I have been through hundreds of organizations, attended much more seminars and have been able to develop a good network which will turn out to be beneficial in the coming future. I have been able to see those things which are hard to believe that they even exist. I have seen the worst and best things life has to offer. I have seen how low people leap for money and I have also seen how high people can reach with kindness and simplicity. In these three years I have learned so many things that would take me entire lifetime to learn had I chosen another subject. The best part I can earn money by helping people and will not have to be stuck on any sort of ethical dilemma for monetary cause.

Few years back I believed people were right when they said that you don’t need to read social work to become a social worker. Till today I believe the same thing but to become a professional one it’s mandatory.  In a fish market a fish shopkeeper who knows the variety of fish, has a good speaking capacity and knows how to cut the fish into fine slices sells well but the one who knows different ways to prepare it as well sells a packet of mustard seeds more and maybe a kilo of fish more. The same is in this case. The way to interact with the clients, the principles, the approaches, the practice systems involved in social work, the tools and methods required for proper functioning and the proper use of media for minimizing the existing problems can only be learnt after one has academic knowledge of social work. GoldenGate has always helped me to learn new insights, has opened up avenues for me, has helped me to harness my skills and has provided me a platform to express myself. One of the reasons why I have achieved this much is due to the supporting faculty of the college and the opportunities I have received. Thus I would like to express my sincere gratitude to all of them who have helped me to make this journey a worthwhile one.